thanks and what it really means

(This post isn’t very timely, but with a newborn in the house, “timely” isn’t actually in my vocabulary these days. But it is VERY important for me to show my appreciation to everyone and recognize this important, annual event in our lives.)

There isn’t a sweeter sound in the world for a grieving mother than to hear her child’s name roll off a person’s tongue. And a few weekends ago it sounded like a chorus of heavenly angels magnificently singing Jackson’s name.

For the fourth year in a row, we participated in Briggs and Al’s Run for Children’s Hospital in Milwaukee. Every year I am humbled by the support we receive from family, friends and strangers. The first two years we participated, it was our way of giving back to the medical team who cared deeply and provided such wisdom and expertise for our son. However, the last two years have been different. After losing Jackson, we not only walk to give back to a wonderful hospital, but it’s a way of celebrating our son and brother.

I know I’ve said this before but participating in this day is something you never forget. Seventeen thousand people walking for the kids. Thousands upon thousands of people putting everything aside for a day to help sweet, innocent little kids! Former patients, volunteers, and families invading downtown Milwaukee to give back. It’s a beautiful site!

The children who have been treated at the hospital are called Children’s Champions, and they wear a different color shirt than everyone else at the walk. When you see those kids your heart cries tears of sadness and joy. Sadness because you don’t want any child to endure illness, and joy because they fought a battle and won. Then you see some of the team shirts (ours included) and you realize, for whatever reason, there are some kids who didn’t make it, and your heart aches for those families and what they have lost.

Thank you to everyone who joined our team. Thank you to numerous family,  friends, coworkers and strangers who made a donation. And thank you to all of our loved ones who sent a text message, called or walked in their hometown that day. 

Every time my phone chimed with an email saying we had a new teammate or a donation was made, it was as if they were cheering Jackson’s name. 

Shortly after Jackson moved to Heaven, some people asked me if it was okay if they talked about him. The question, at first, shocked me. I quickly answered yes. But after thinking about it, if I weren’t walking in these shoes, I would probably wonder the same thing. 

But for most people who have lost a child, hearing someone speak their name is the most beautiful sound. When you talk to me about my son, I don’t just hear the name “Jackson”. I hear

“Jackson isn’t forgotten.” 

“We still love Jackson.” 

“We will always remember Jackson.” 

And that is a priceless gift to a grieving mother’s soul.