my boys
I love my boys. Both stole my heart the first moment our eyes met as the doctor held them over the blue curtain. Three-and-a-half years apart in age, yet they share so many similarities. They are both fair skinned with wispy blond hair. Their smiles light up a room. They have the same chubby little hands that lock perfectly with mine. They both have a cute, button nose and eyes the color of a dark sky before an impending thunderstorm. They love giving kisses through the spindles on the staircase as they head to bed. They adore their big sister and love walking her to the bus stop and getting one more hug before she leaves. And they are giddy with joy as they watch her step off the bus after school. They share the same goofy, nose-scrunching smile when they’re...
it’s the little things
Sometimes it’s the smallest acts in life that mean the most. For me, it was yesterday morning, as I was looking out my front window. Kate and her friend were playing with the window markers this weekend, and as I was admiring their brightly colored artwork (and slightly dreading the clean-up of said windows), I saw this. I assumed Kate wrote it because she almost always includes Jackson when she’s writing about the family. But I was a little surprised when I asked her, and she said, “No, Addie did.” Kate’s sweet friend, who barely knew Jackson, included him in their window art. When I saw this, my heart melted. Addie is in our home a lot. Kate would tell you she is one of her best friends. We always talk about Jackson and pictures of him fill our walls. It was...
a seat for one
I love going school supply shopping. There is something about a new school year and new supplies. They are untouched and unblemished. Fresh. Ready and waiting to be opened and used for the very first time. Blank pages are filled with hope and excitement for the year ahead. Earlier this month, we embarked on the annual trip for Kate’s school supplies. She starts third grade tomorrow (She is growing up too fast, but that’s another post for another day), and it’s a nice, long list we have to fulfill. Last year, I made the mistake and took her a little too late in the summer to avoid the crowds, and everything was picked over. Needless to say, we made the trek a little earlier this year. As we arrived in the store, you couldn’t miss the school supply section. It was...
juggling joy and grief
It’s amazing to me the power one teeny, tiny baby can have. Not even 20 inches long and weighing less than a sack of potatoes when he was born. Yet this little human is transforming my life. Ryder turned one this week, and from the moment he was born, joy began weaving its way back into our broken lives, and I never thought that would be possible. When Jackson moved to Heaven, I was in a deep, dark place. I struggled. With everything. Grief is heavy. It weighs you down. I constantly juggled being happy for Kate, and not wanting to have any fun because I felt it wasn’t fair to Jackson. I didn’t even simply want to smile because that implies happiness, and I was far from happy. And then August 18 came, and things changed. Giving birth to Ryder, and welcoming him...
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